Day One

(Okay guys so I'm going to post what I write in my journal.... with some editing of course on here.. if I have extra comments I'll write them in parentheses so you know...)

Day 1. 6.14.11 1:12 PM


So I'm going to start an experiment. I'm going to journal every day for 30 days. I need to have an outlet to express my feelings. (And apparently put them on the internet for the world to see... but whatever.) So here I go. I guess I would say my goal for this week is to stop going onto omegle. (Yes. That stupid site where you talk to strangers?? I kind of got addicted to it. But no more!!!)  I also need to pack and get ready for camp. I'm purifying my heart so that I will be ready to focus on me and God for the whole week. No distractions (including drama!!!). It's going to be hard, but I don't need this, so I believe in myself. More later?
- Kathryn

11:07 PM
No Omegle yet today, and that's something to cheer about. However, a lot has gone on today.
a) Lance*. I gave him a ride to church today. I thought it would be awkward, but in reality it was actually S.U.P.E.R. fun. Sometimes it feels like we would be a really good couple. Or that he has feelings for me. But I don't know. I'm praying that God will lead me in the right direction. Also, he told Shelby* that he liked her, and she kinda told. E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. And Lance told me he didn't really like her, but I don't want to tell her that. It would crush her.

B) Kayleigh* I fell like after she moved back from China* she has changed. A lot. She dates all these guys. All she talks about are guys, guys, guys, and honestly, it's tiring to keep up a conversation with her!! So now we're playing truths. (If you don't know what that is, it's like truth or dares, but without dares. You just take turns asking each other questions and you have to answer otherwise you lose. It's quite a popular game in my circle of friends.)  And I'm really worried. I'm trying to be honest without being rude, but it seems like everything I say comes out that way.

C) Bailey.* SO first of all a couple of days ago, she made this status about a "new best friend." (Just to clarify: I THOUGHT that we were best friends...) And immediately I felt horrible. (Because, as previously mentioned, I thought we were friends.) But I just ignored it and kind of moved on and put it out of my mind. People can have more then one best friend..... right?? Then, today, Bailey opened up a chat with me. And she told me to go look at her status. And she asked me to comment on it. So I commented saying that I felt replaced. Then do you know what she said? "Sorry but we were never best friends in the first place." That felt like a blow to the stomach. (hmm. I've never actually used that term before, I've just always heard it in books.....) I almost started crying right there.

So there's all my drama. I just pray to God that all of this *Or at least the lance/Shelby/Kayleigh part* gets resolved by Monday, because that is when camp starts. And I am swearing to myself no drama this year. Even if that means that I'm in a little bubble with me, God, and no one else. So now I'm going to do my quiet time.

Goodnight!
<3 - Kathryn

(So that was day one. Yesterday. I'll publish day two tomorrow (hopefully). So right now I'm sitting here at 3:04 in the morning. I was watching eat pray love, but i'm not anymore, because honestly i wasn't really paying attention. Does anyone have any ideas on how to beat insomnia?? Because right now I'm struggling with it.... Love you guys!! Please comment!)

*Names changed for anonymity