Day 8

[Day 8 of my adventure. And one of the hardest days of my life so far.]

6.23.11/6.24.11 12:17 AM

Dear journal,
Today has been crazy! So first of all Pastor Tommy died. [Pastor Tommy has been my pastor since I can remember. He has really mentored my parents and was the one who dedicated and baptized my brother. He has done great at leading our church in the 13 years he served us.] He was in Israel and he had a heart attack. It was really difficult for me at first when I heard about it. I was mad, angry, and bitter at God. I didn't (and still don't really) understand why. Why him? why to OUR church? Why now, right at the end of camp? I was also crying. I literally sat in the Prayer Garden and cried for an hour and a half. It was insane. I couldn't even sit in morning worship because it was too fresh on my brain. But then I went to a breakout session, lunch, rec, ect. ect. and I kind of cheered up. Probably mostly from not thinking about it, but not thinking is better then bawling. So then came evening worship. It was amazing as always. I was really touched when we sang "It Is Well." [Another AMAZING worship song. Click here to check it out.] I really finally gave up the situation to God and realized that I couldn't just stop my life. That's exactly what Satan would want me to do. Instead I realized that this is God's plan. SO although it is okay to cry and morn, I need to get off my booty, raise God, and tell people about Him. After worship, Mike K. (The Pastor at camp) spoke, and of course he mentioned P.T. [Pastor Tommy] It made everyone start crying all over again. Even *Lance and *Drake. So right then I pulled on my "mommy" pants and started comforting them. I felt like I did a good job, but I'm not sure since Lance has been avoiding me. Probably because of my crazy emotional state. So my biggest worries about this whole thing is going back home. I have no idea how my family is dealing with this. Sunday in particular is going to be especially rough. [Actually today was better then I had expected it to be.] I'm also worried as I go to Iowa that I'm going to grow apart from Christ. I guess I should just grasp to the promise that this is all in God's hands. He's in control, and as long as that's true I'm alright.
<3- Kathryn L. Tune

[Hey blog readers. Thursday was a really hard day for me. As said above I really questioned God and my faith. I am okay now though. I would ask for you guys to pray for my church family and I as we pray for God's wisdom and figure out how he wants us to handle this situation. I would also ask that if you need to talk about anything that you send me an email here. I would love to talk to anyone about their faith.
XOXO- Kathryn]